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Thou shall not correct

7/12/2016

15 Comments

 
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The question came out of the blue. “How do we know that the changes you suggest are the best possible changes?” And the question was dipped in teen scorn.
I could sense the teacher, my facilitator for that workshop, bristling at the questioner’s temerity. I motioned her to remain seated. After all, I was the coach, the expert who had travelled all the way to help the students and teachers of the school write better English. Surely, I could handle this?
Some 15 minutes earlier, they had all sauntered in, noticed a stranger with their teacher, deposited their bags and extracted a notebook. While I was being introduced with teacherly gravitas, some 20 pairs of eyes beamed two clear questions at me. “What are you doing here?” “What are we doing here?”
It took a while but I managed to get the notebooks closed and the pens put away.

The thaw
​Most of my jokes ended up wriggling on the floor having bashed their heads against a still-standing wall, but a few managed to loosen some bricks and reveal some smiles. More importantly, I discovered some writers.
“That’s a very good question,” I said, although a good answer was nowhere in sight. Then I took the safe route and smashed it right back! “Would any of you like to answer that question?”
One hand was already up, much to my relief. It was the quiet poet.
“I don’t think there is something like the best in writing,” she declared. “You express what you are feeling or what you want to say. It is your expression. Maybe someone can do it better. Maybe on another day you will do it better if you try again.”
“But who is to judge what is best?” a would-be journalist questioned. “You may love what you have written, but the reader may not. Or you may write something that is ordinary and the readers may make it a best seller.”
“I think best is relative.” This was from someone who had confessed to loathe “pointless” writing. “You may like it today, hate it tomorrow. Your readers may not appreciate it today; and when you are dead, someone might discover the relevance of your work.”
Wow! It was turning out to be some debate. While the teacher helped to keep things civil, I tried to ensure the punches were legal. Somewhere along, I inserted a few words about my role as a coach—understand what they wanted to say and help them put it in a manner that was clear, convincing and interesting to the reader. Probably that little pitch did not survive the heat of the debate.

Don't correct, don't read
At the end of the session, the teacher summoned the boy who had thrown the tricky question. Was she planning to take him to task? Before she could say anything, I shook his hand and thanked him for initiating a very interesting debate. There was no stopping the teacher. “So, did you get the answer to the question?” It was a hostile question. Thankfully, he did not bite. He looked her in the eye and said, “Yes, ma’am.”
The three of us walked out of the class together. The teacher was headed elsewhere and directed the student to walk with me to the room where a group of teachers were waiting for my next session. She made it sound like a punishment.
We started walking in silence. “I am writing a novel,” he announced without any preamble. Surprise!
But I just nodded by head as I felt there was more coming. “The teachers correct whatever I write. And I must change it, whether I like it or not.” I was surprised at the intensity of his emotion. “The novel is mine. No one will change it. I don’t care if no one reads it.”
I jumped at that chance. “I would love to read it. When it is ready and only if you don’t mind. And I can assure you I am not interested in correcting it.”
He stopped near a room, my destination. He stood there facing me, running his fingers through the straps of his bag.
“You promise?” he asked. “You will not correct?”
“I don’t have the time to correct everything I read,” I replied earnestly. Unintentionally, I ended up mocking his serious tone.
He smiled bashfully and then asked for my email ID. I gave that and quickly walked into the room.
The waiting teachers must have wondered what this guy was grinning about. They didn’t know that I had just uncovered a stone and I had a strong feeling it would turn out to be precious.
15 Comments
Dr. Tamanna Chellani link
7/12/2016 07:52:08 pm

So many more precious stones would be uncovered if we learn to connect rather than correct!
Through writing or words each seeks to tell a part of his novel, his story. And if one does not obsess oneself with corrections, one can discover wonderful new worlds of existence!
So much out there that children have and adults need.
Reflective writing Vijay! Food for thought for all parents and teachers.

Reply
Vijay link
8/12/2016 08:27:32 am

Very well put, Tamanna. As Paulo Coelho says, "Instead of merely giving answers, try to find out what questions children want to ask."

Reply
Rashmikant
8/12/2016 09:09:12 am

Wow Vijay, I had tears in my eyes reading this not only because I know every bit of this is true but also because you managed to keep the flame in that author alive! How very often we adults nip the bud in trying to well-meaning 'discipline' the youngster!

I've always like your writing style, that definitely added to my emotional state:). Thanks for sharing!

Has the novel been able to sprout?

Reply
Vijay link
8/12/2016 10:20:59 am

Thanks for reading, Rashmi. Several people have asked me if the novel reached me. From the first time he wrote to me, he became my learner-client and like every client is entitled to confidentiality privilege. So, let's just say that a "happily-ever-after" ending is what we would like and are all waiting for.

Reply
Gopi Kapadia
8/12/2016 09:56:43 am

This is really inspiring !!

I still have the fear of questioning that comes to me from my childhood. The fear occurred because as a child our questions were heard merely to be answered and not really to understand.

Reply
Vijay link
8/12/2016 10:25:53 am

Glad it inspired you, Gopi. If only we could understand the questions before we rush with the answers. As Rashmi put it, disciplining is often well-meaning but blind to long-term effects. Alas! We tend to realize that on hindsight.

Reply
Mukesh Shelat
9/12/2016 08:01:08 am

The difference between the intention & action while disciplining is what makes the difference

Reply
Vijay link
9/12/2016 11:11:41 am

You are right, Mukesh. The question is, intention and action apart, how many of us can avoid the emotional overload (anger, ego) during the process of disciplining?

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Alka Chawds
9/12/2016 10:52:24 pm

Indeed inspiring!
If each kid is allowed to blossom, we would soon have a lovely garden where all are spreading their fragrance. ..

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Vijay link
10/12/2016 12:49:06 pm

Yea, Alka. We definitely need more such gardens.

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Aashish Rasiklal Dhakan
10/12/2016 09:09:13 pm

I am so reminded of Khalil Gibran... Unfortunately, we use these quotes and throw big words like student centric learning, self motivated learners but end up trying to mold students in to images that WE want to see them in. We take ourselves to seriously and in worrying about the future of the students enforce our versions of success on them and take away their present from them. Who are we to decide whether the path they have chosen will lead them to success or failure? We just need to held them find their passion and then be there for them in their tryst with their destiny..

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Vijay link
12/12/2016 11:13:36 am

Agree, Aashish. It would be better for all if instead of imposing our reflections on them, we encouraged them to reflect for themselves.

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Alka Chawda
23/12/2016 07:53:43 pm

Rightly said Ashish... we elders under estimate youngsters and always feel that without our guidance and support they will not succeed.

Reply
Megha Satav Lodha
13/12/2016 05:09:49 pm

Thank you so much!! Sir for sharing such a beautiful blog....i always love what my son puts up....n i correct my daughter....i will connect with her....instead. Indeed an eye opener🙏

Reply
Vijay link
13/12/2016 05:46:17 pm

May you always remain connected with them both, Megha!

Reply



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