The customer was puzzled. This was the same cheese that she had been buying from her favourite farm produce company for years. But now it tasted different, bland.

“It used to taste so good before. Just the right saltiness. Now it has no taste,” she told the manager of the outlet. The manager apologised, promised to speak to the owner and resolve her complaint. After all, she was an old, regular customer. They were friends.

During the next visit, polite conversation apart, the manager was not forthcoming with the resolution. “Now the son is running the show,” he said almost regretfully.

“That is fine, but what did he say about the cheese?” she persisted. “He said,”  the manager paused. “He said the cheese is fine. If you want you can sprinkle some salt before eating.”

She walked out more incredulous than angry. She could not resist a look at the signboard of her favourite cheese supplier. Would she have to find another source now. After all these years?

She never bought cheese from them again. Yet, she would drop in occasionally to buy other small stuff and to say good morning to the manager.

On one such visit, she found the manager missing. And again during her next visit. “He is on leave,” said the person, who now manned the counter, impatiently waiting for her to finish paying so that he could go back to his mobile.

A couple of weeks later, the manager was back. His smile was strained. No, the morning was not good, he said. His wife had to be hospitalised on account of multiple health issues. Now she was back home. “It is very expensive to keep her in the hospital,” he said and turned to attend to another customer.

Over the next few days, whenever she passed by, she noticed that he was frequently absent.

One leisurely Sunday, noticing him alone at the shop, she walked in. Not that she had to buy anything.

“Yes, she is okay. At home. Still in pain. What to do now, we have to manage. It is just the two of us.” He was clearly distracted.

They used to have casual conversations about something or the other. Just to divert his mind, she decided to try that. She picked on a headline in the newspaper lying nearby. “Look at this. Such a big company and they have laid off so many people. These days you have to be fortunate first to get a job and then not to get kicked out for no fault of yours.”

That did not trigger a diversionary response she was hoping for. Instead, his expression turned dark. He leaned closer to her, pausing for a moment to look at the camera overhead. Then he shrugged as if he did not care.

“Every day do you know how much I am spending on my wife? On food and medicines? And you know how much every visit to the hospital costs? We don’t have that kind of money. We were just managing until…”
He paused to catch his breath. His eyes welled up.

“My employer, this company, they know they cannot easily find someone to replace me. Someone who has the experience, who knows the customers well. You are talking of layoff. My boss is telling me to go to hell without really saying that. You know how many years I have been working here? And how many hours each day?”

She did not know how to react. But he wasn’t finished.

“Forget helping me or granting me leave, would you believe they deducted 10,000 rupees for the days I could not come? Knowing my wife’s condition and the state I am in? I wish I could return the compliment and tell them to go to hell. I just can’t. And they know that. So, I have to pull on till they kick me out.” This time he did not bother to hide his tears. He moved away wiping his eyes, gesturing to a junior to handle the customer who had just walked in.

She stepped out, very disturbed. She was sure the camera would have captured his words. But would they also see his tears?
​
She wished she didn’t care. Just like the new young boss at the company. Who had betrayed her expectations from her beloved cheese. And rubbed salt into the oozing wound of a loyal employee.

A routine visit to the ENT physician resulted in an immediate admission to the hospital for “acute follicular tonsilitis with quinsy.” Now we move to the main story which is less about health and more about health insurance.

The estimate for claim clearly mentioned the admission was for medical management with surgery as an SOS option, if required.

REJECTED: We don’t cover ENT surgeries for the first two years.

The main treating physician takes the time to write a note explaining that the admission is for medical management and no surgery is scheduled.

REJECTED: For the same reason by one person associated with the insurance company.

REJECTED: For the same reason by another insurance company person, who was considerate enough to reduce the waiting time to 12 months. (In other words, if you are alive to seek treatment after 12 months, you might raise a claim again.)

As the doctor expected, the patient recovers fast just with the medicines and is discharged on the third day. The patient pays and goes home. He has to work to pay the bills (including the health insurance premium).

Believing that the amount would be reimbursed now (as it was only medical management), the claim is re-presented.

REJECTED: “Patient paid and discharge.”

Applause!

According to your website, Care Insurance “is one of India's leading Health Insurance providers, with a claim settlement ratio of 95.2%.” Going by this experience, the numbers that constitute the 4.8% unsettled patients must be huge.

Your marketing department is doing a wonderful job.

But that is nothing compared to the astounding work of your Chief Excuse Officer. Refuse to settle for this reason and that until the patient pays and goes home. Then throw the masterpiece (don’t get distracted by the English): “Patient paid and discharge.”
​
Bravo!

​I love your washing machine. And I love your refrigerator.
 
Over the last two decades, when one got too old, replaced it with another from you. Again. And again. Loved the products based on actual use. Therefore, loved the brand.

Except in the recent past.
 
I understand old machines can breakdown. But then you have been so considerate to extend your care to your customer over WhatsApp. Or so I thought.

“Please confirm your name.” I am presented a wrongly spelt version of my name.

“Are you a dealer or a customer?” Huh?

“Provide full address.” I do that. But must again reconfirm the LOCATION, the CITY, and the STATE. Yes, in all CAPS.

“Describe your model.”

“When did you buy it?”

“This is out of warranty. You will have to pay X amount.” I have an AMC in place.

“Provide details.”

As I scramble to dig out the details …

“Are you still connected? As I am not getting any response from your end I am bound to close this chat. Thank you for chatting with Xxxxxxxxx. Have a nice day!”

Hey, wait! What about all those times you asked me to wait and vanished to do God knows what, while I held on.

Three calls within a month. All following the same pattern.

Technology is smart. Just from the mobile number, it can dig out all information including your last service request. That is the optimistic theory for the gullible. Tech must have a poor memory, though. Why else do I have to provide the same details in virtually the same sequence during every chat? Even if the chat is repeated within a span of 30 minutes?
 
Of course, there must be a script at the other end that must be honoured. Who dares face the consequence of breaking the sequence!

Until you buy, we woo you.

After you buy, shut up and don’t bother us.

If you dare complain, well, we’ll simply Whirl you, fool!