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Never alone is the lone old man

28/10/2022

7 Comments

 
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There is a lizard on the other side of the pale curtain. It seems happy just holding on as the curtain sways.

The old clock ticks on, loud and relentless. The sound fills every gap in the banter and laughter.

He is at the head of the dining table, most convenient to reach on his wheelchair.
“Why don’t you make some tea?” he tells the maid. She is more than a maid. She was the chief help even when his wife was around. She took over as his prime caregiver after the wife’s death and an accident confined him to the wheelchair.

A doctor who has come from a distant city checks him out. He obeys the gentle instructions. Raises his hands. Tentatively at first, grimacing at the pain. As the pain eases, a smile breaks through his white moustache and beard. As the testing and relieving continues, there is unceasing chatter, a lot of good-natured teasing between the patient and the doctor.

The wheelchair handler is called in to understand the doctor’s instructions. Soak his legs in hot water before he goes to bed. As hot as, and as long as he can bear.

As the doctor departs, so does the delivery guy from a grocer, who had been inside, stacking up stuff.

The old man puts down his cup and resumes the story he was telling. Another trip down memory lane. Like the sun filtering through the leaves in a gentle breeze, dates and names are now bright, now in shadow.

The maid signals the guests not to make him talk until he finishes the tea. Else he would again forget to sip. Again, she would have to reheat.

He tells her to shut up and go away. She does just that. Keeping an eye on him but away from his eyes. She takes her time to respond and come to him when he calls her again. There is no malice. He is smiling. So is she, despite the sulk mask.

No one who has interacted with him so far is related to him. Yet everyone around in the community is his family, tightly bound.

By ownership, he ought to be alone in that grand old house. Someone or the other, from near and far, always ensures he is not.

He is wheeled out, shouting out instructions for yet another get-together in the evening. The dogs waiting outside can barely contain their jumps and wags of glee.

The clock ticks on as if urging the lizard to get a move on. It remains where it was.
​
Tomorrow, more will come. So will more laughter.
7 Comments
Jairam
28/10/2022 02:02:40 pm

This one hits home. It is vivid and it is alive. A story that makes you think, wonderfully told.

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Vijay link
28/10/2022 03:12:39 pm

Thanks, Jairam!

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Dr Khurshid Bhalla
28/10/2022 03:34:06 pm

A sweet story.....
Comes at a time when I am concentrating and focusing on learning to live alone.
Learning that loneliness and solitude are two different things, and the former hurts while the latter heals.
Learning that life can be as enjoyable and full with just sunshine, and stars, and trees and plants, furniture and books, TV and old tapes......
Learning that memories can fill hours and be as fulfilling as the life one has completed to your own satisfaction.
Having the time to just stand and stare.....
Or keep lying in bed.....
Dress up and paint your nails and dye your hair one day, and then just hang around in a nightgown the whole next day.....
Watch the sunset changing its time from 7:25 pm to 6 pm as the months move on.....seeing the broad beans replaced the yellow little flowers on the tree outside your window......welcoming the parrots as they screech and break the beans....peep at the tiny little birds with the beautiful warble......the pigeons with their mournful cry....the budgies chirping brightly and merrily in the little bird cage on the window-sill .....keeping a wary eye on the crows who come to eat the rice you put out for all of them every morning......and on the swift, nasty kite who can swoop down and kill the little birds.

Even plants all have a story to share.....the peace lily that's been in the biggest pot , so precious because it belonged to a dearest soulmate no longer in this world with you.....the kadipatta tree that's been with you since the kids were small, churning memories of happy meals on a laden dining table with five faces around it......the palm that a grateful retired General's wife sent you because she felt better with your treatment.....the money plants that trail all across the balcony top now......and the orphan that you rescued from drying up in the society garden and who now spreads his leaves gloriously across the verandah!!!

Stories......so easy to weave in our minds, and hearts, and souls......so simple to listen to in your mind, and put down into words......

To make friends with Silence.....which earlier seemed so menacing, when the ears were used to the sound of people's voices and children's laughter.....
Now the silence is gentle, and welcoming, and soft....surrounding yourself in waves of gossamer cloud-like puffs....which don't hurt any more, but only soothe your spirit.

To live alone now.....
To stop any more tears....of missing parts of your heart, or your family, or your beloved......
The passage of time has brought its own form of peace.....
Where there are no more fights, no more recriminations, no more blame. No more demands on your time. No more fulfilling the needs of others.

There is only YOU.... and NOW...

No yesterday, nor tomorrow
No sorrow, nor joy
No tears, nor laughter
No hurting, nor pain.
There is only equanimity, and silence, and sunshine, and night.
There is no more loving, or wanting, or yearning, or longing.....
All those were a figment of that distant past, which seems to recede further and further behind you each day.....
Till the laughter is but an echo, and the tears are all dry. ...
Yes, today, now, I am at peace

Reply
Vijay link
28/10/2022 03:36:53 pm

Thanks for taking pains to share your thoughts in detail, Dr Bhalla!

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Rajagopal link
30/10/2022 06:32:12 am

He is really reaping the harvest from the relationships that he nurtured when he was well, isn't he?

Reply
Vijay link
30/10/2022 07:22:13 am

You are so right, Dr Rajagopal!

Reply
Sarita
7/11/2022 11:37:45 am

I could picture this in my mind. So lovely.

Reply



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