Strategic thinking, creative writing
  • About
  • Services
    • Coaching
    • English laundry
  • Free Trial
  • Clients
  • Blog

Let's converse

Moron communications need a mother

10/12/2019

1 Comment

 
​The customer, David Ogilvy warned in 1955, is not a moron, but your wife. Today, the harem is packed with millions and technology has provided a zillion contact points, but do some companies hold on to a moronic mindset?

Free, subject to

The bank emailed me that my credit card was eligible for a “premium” upgrade. All I had to do was go to netbanking and “confirm” the upgrade. I started doing that and then aborted when the annual fee field of my “lifetime free” card automatically filled with an amount.
When I got yet another reminder about the “upgrade”, I emailed them for a confirmation that my credit card would remain “free” even after the upgrade. Sifting through the chaff in the reply I received after a couple of days, I found one sentence relevant to me. The upgrade was “subject to” my signing up for a service. And I was asked to call up “phonebanking”.
Picture
I wrote back requesting a specific answer—was the upgrade free or not? Received a longer response restating the “subject to” and yet another helpful link to locate my phonebanking number.
I did not ask for the upgrade. You offered it. And are all your bankers too busy or too shy to call me and tell me about the upgrade condition upfront?
Definitely not a wife, I must be a moron to my bank.

Can't connect, can't help

Day after day, the range was too poor to make or receive a call. So, I called up customer service. “How many bars can you see?” Huh? Oh, that! I just see a triangle with an exclamation mark. “Where do you face this problem?” At home. “Please give me your address.”
“We are upgrading our towers in your area. Your problem will be resolved by (specific date). Please rate my response.” An email followed that reiterated the same assurance.
Picture
When you can anticipate a problem, why wait for the customer to complain? Why not email those who are most likely to be affected? Or at least publish an announcement?
​A few days later, I receive an SMS and an email. “We tried to contact you three times. You were not reachable. The issue is now closed.”
​Doesn’t your inability to reach me validate my persisting problem? Or is it just a good excuse to silence another moron?
The youngster at home advised: “Go to settings and  switch from 4G to 3G.” It worked and still does. The resolution the company promised is yet to materialize.
Huddled in an invisible corner of the harem, I imagine an email: “While we are working to upgrade your 4G service, we request you to switch to 3G so that you can continue to enjoy our uninterrupted service. This is how you can do it ….” That dream helps me hold on to the notion that my husband cares for me.

They don't care for wives

Sorry, David! They don’t much care for wives now. Could you please advise them to appoint a custodian to mother all customer communications? Even morons respond to sense and sensitivity. All we need is to find a system to fit a mother into the process.
1 Comment
Suprabha
9/12/2019 06:41:20 pm

Dumbing it down as they'd say for ease of operation. Customer care believes that it means dumbing down customers

Reply



Leave a Reply.

    RSS Feed

    Author

    Vijayakumar Kotteri

    Picture

    Categories

    All
    Book Extract
    Cancer
    Community Support
    Compassionate Care
    Covid 19
    Covid-19
    CSR
    Customer Care
    Death And Life
    Film Based
    Film-based
    Human Relations
    Musings
    On Communications
    On Writing
    Organ Donation
    Pallitiave Care
    Published Story Extracts
    Stories On The Go
    Unseen Faces

    Archives

    May 2025
    April 2025
    March 2025
    January 2025
    December 2024
    November 2024
    October 2024
    September 2024
    August 2024
    July 2024
    June 2024
    May 2024
    April 2024
    March 2024
    February 2024
    January 2024
    November 2023
    October 2023
    September 2023
    August 2023
    July 2023
    June 2023
    May 2023
    April 2023
    March 2023
    February 2023
    December 2022
    November 2022
    October 2022
    September 2022
    August 2022
    July 2022
    June 2022
    May 2022
    April 2022
    March 2022
    February 2022
    January 2022
    December 2021
    November 2021
    August 2021
    April 2021
    September 2020
    August 2020
    May 2020
    April 2020
    March 2020
    January 2020
    December 2019
    November 2019
    October 2019
    August 2019
    June 2019
    May 2019
    October 2018
    September 2018
    September 2017
    July 2017
    May 2017
    April 2017
    March 2017
    February 2017
    January 2017
    December 2016
    November 2016

    Earlier posts
Picture
COMPREHENSIVE SUPPORT
BLOG WRITING
ENGLISH LAUNDRY
COACHING IN WRITING
PICK WHAT YOU NEED

© 1996-2025 ALL RIGHTS RESERVED.
​PRIVACY POLICY
  • About
  • Services
    • Coaching
    • English laundry
  • Free Trial
  • Clients
  • Blog