The main challenge when you take a flight that lands at 2 a.m. is not the sleep you lose. But to ensure that the driver of the cab who picks you up will stay awake and alert through the journey.

My strategy remained the same this time too. Greet the driver heartily and after establishing our respective identities, start a conversation about the latest in local politics. Never fails to keep the conversation flowing and eyes open, especially when you are in Kerala.

Of course, as always, I had taken care to quickly scan the interior of the cab for words, images or colours that would have indicated if the driver was already aligned to a political thought or a party. Again, as always, I started out with some innocent questions, expected of an ignoramus not tuned into the here and now of the political landscape.
​
This time my plan failed. Or, maybe, he sensed pretty early that I was a mere pup when it came to politics. So, after a short pause that threatened to induce sleep, I latched on to a topic that was making headlines all over.

“Isn’t it frightening,” I began. “Small school children getting addicted to drugs. They become rude, violent and don’t hesitate to kill. What is happening to God’s Own Country? The most literate state?” I patted myself for that closing. It was sure to kick off a long conversation.

Instead, sitting as I was right next to him, I could discern a change in his expression. Suddenly, he slowed the car down. I looked around to spot a reason. No teashop or public toilet around. All I could see was a signboard that identified the building across the road to be a government school.

He was pointing to that school. Then he turned to face me.

“My daughter studies there. She is in the eighth standard. My son is also there, three years younger,” he paused. His turned his face away and wiped his face on his sleeve. Was he crying?

I remained quiet as we resumed our journey. The silence persisted. Then he spoke, almost in a whisper.
“For you, these are just headlines to talk about. For me, this is my life, my family.” There was anger in his voice and sorrow. Then he shared his story in bits and pieces.

“This has been going on for a while. Everyone thought it was localized first. That was the excuse our leaders used for a long time. Now, it is too big a fire to hide.

“Politicians don’t even bother with justifications and promises any longer. Yes, some of the drug runners get arrested once in a while and it becomes big news. Usually, they are out in a week or two. There is too much money and power at play.”

He stopped the car for a tea break. I refused his offer of a cup and waited in the car for him to return. I was disturbed. It was one thing to read from far away and arrive at righteous opinions about the deplorable state of affairs. It was another to be in the middle of it all and live life on the edge, day after day.
​
He had half a smile on his face when he returned and started the car. I asked him: “So, how do you handle this? How do you protect your children?”

“My wife I and I make a conscious effort to be not just parents but also good friends to our children. They are free to talk to us about anything. We do not rush to judge them or punish them. Thankfully, they are smart and are doing well in school. We just sit and talk. If my daughter has something to say that is strictly for feminine ears, she opts for a private conversation with her mother. My son is crazy about football, and he would rather discuss that with me, thought I am not a footballer. We have our disagreements, yet we try to keep one another happy.”

Where did he get this idea from? Did someone counsel him and his wife? Did they watch some YouTube video?

“We have been like this right from the time we married. Our family life never had a man’s side separate from the woman’s. We saw no reason to change our way even after we had children. I do not know if we are doing right or wrong. We just want to keep everything transparent. It is not about right and wrong or good and bad. We just hope that when we discuss everything in the open, we will be able to prevent any serious problem ... or at least nip it in the bud.

“Yes, we talk about the drug problem also. They have told us about a few things they have seen on the way to school. Fortunately, their school appears to be safe so far. Maybe because most of the students there come from relatively poor families. Not much money to get there. But there are some teachers in our neighbourhood who work in bigger schools. They tell us they are afraid. It is just a job for them now and they continue only because they cannot possibly get another job here.”
​
We happened to pass a church. He slowed and bowed his head. The same thing happened when we later crossed a temple and a mosque. He was conscious of my gaze and answered my unasked question.

“You have probably guessed my faith from my name. But honestly, I have lost my faith in humanity. Our only goal now is to divide and exploit. My only plea to God, wherever He is and whatever we call Him, is to help me and my family.”

We were very close to my destination. He had something more to say.

“We want our children to study well, find a good job and settle down somewhere outside. Like you, they should be able to speak English and do well to fly from place to place.”

I was on the verge of defending myself, but we had already stopped at my spot. So, I let it pass.

After I paid him, he asked my permission to contact me once the children finished their school. Maybe I could help them find a job somewhere far away from here?
​
All I could do in response was give him a long hug and walk away. I didn’t want my tears to dilute his hope.
The birds were hailing the rising sun with their chorus. As I slowly wheeled my bag along, I tuned into their songs and focused on the gentle light in the horizon. I desperately wanted to be positive. Maybe, just maybe, God would return to reclaim His country and save His people.

Aspi Shroff was warned to be careful around them as he prepared to interact with the young inmates at the remand home. “There was scorn and rage in some of those faces as they moved past me to occupy their seats,” Aspi remembered. “The unspoken challenge was: you think you can mend us now, old man?”

The transformation after Aspi finished his activity was unbelievable. “Some of them were in tears. One of them told me that he was a good person inside. But someone in authority had ordered them never to get married even if they were released. They were bad people because their parents were bad; if they got married, their children would also be bad.”

The children were willing to delay lunch (something they always rushed to, given the strict timings at the remand home) just to take one more look at the two mirrors Aspi had used for the activity—one broken, one intact.

​The broken mirror showed a broken person, while the other mirror proved that the person was whole with wholesome possibilities within. What was broken were the perceptions, one’s own and of others.

The two-mirror activity is one of the several that the Shroffs use as part of their Possibilities Universal initiative. Their objective is to open up and activate innate possibilities of strength, wisdom and peace in all, through interactive workshops.

​After graduating from IIT, Mumbai, Aspi had also taken the “usual path” of employment, business, etc. He went on to marry Yasmin who was a teacher. Their urge to do something different, to give back to society, led them to an orphanage. “It was a very unpleasant experience,” Aspi remembered. But they were not ready to give up.

Then he chanced upon a small book, Thoughts of Power, written by Swami Vivekananda. “That changed my life. So much ancient wisdom expressed in such simple words.” The book encouraged Aspi to absorb even more wisdom from Indian philosophy, and dive into the illuminating ocean of quantum physics, astrophysics, neuroscience and other fields. Soon, Aspi and Yasmin were conscious of their own possibilities and ready to help others discover their own.

They once happened to conduct an activity for patients at a prominent cancer hospital. At the end of it, a young woman declared her intention to stop all treatment as she was sure the cure lay within herself. “The doctors had to persuade her to continue treatment while remaining positive. Last I heard, she had a remission and did indeed finally stop all treatment. While this may be an exception, I do believe that your state of mind has an important role to play when you are fighting to overcome a difficult obstacle in your life,” Aspi said.

As an artist, Yasmin was instrumental in introducing the use of puppets as a therapeutic activity. During the activity (usually with children) the puppet dons various masks representing negative emotions. “Each mask changes the appearance of the puppet, but it is only temporary. With just a flip, the masks disappear and you become your true self,” Aspi explained.

They were once conducting a street show, when a child ran away with the puppet. He approached a policeman who was standing some distance away. The boy demonstrated the puppet activity to the amazed cop. Later, the cop came back with the boy and the puppet and appreciated the activity.
​
At a college event, most students were fascinated by the two-mirror activity. However, one student chose to walk away abruptly. Aspi and his team were puzzled, but they did not stop him. A year later, the student came back, with another student in tow. “Please show him the mirrors,” he demanded. Later, he explained: “You have no idea what I was going through at that time and how that activity helped me rediscover myself. Now, this friend is going through the same things, and I want the mirrors to help him too.”

During a session at a hospital, Aspi spotted a bunch of patients sitting some distance away, not at all interested in what was happening around them. “I approached them and showed them a small piece of paper and challenged them to pass their whole body through the paper. They were skeptical but I persisted until they offered some possibilities. At the end of the activity, they were no longer focused on their helplessness but were actually laughing. There was no denying destiny, but at least engaging in some activity helped to ease their pain.”

Possibilities Universal exhorts everyone to “celebrate our possibilities through playful interactions, visualization, meditation, and games that fill our hearts, minds and lives with our possibilities.”

For nearly three decades, their activities have helped promote different aspects of wellbeing including mental, emotional, social, environmental, economic, and spiritual.
​
More strength to you, Aspi, Yasmin and team!

You have serious health issues. On first assessment, the doctor gives you less than 100 days to live. More than 20 surgeries and 10,000 days later, who do you thank for letting you be you, not just alive? Yes, your own attitude matters. Then there is your doctor, the medical team, friends, and close family. If you are very lucky, you will also be grateful you had Nancy on your side.

If you have seen the movie, I want to talk and read the books by Arjun Sen, you will know who Nancy is (was, sadly). I had watched the movie before I read his books Raising a Father followed by Unquit Forever: Keep yourself in the game. The latter (the title of which sums up Arjun’s attitude towards life despite a prolonged standoff with death) told me more about Nancy.
​    
When Arjun met Nurse Nancy for the first time at the hospital, “I heard her scream, ‘Arjuuuun’ way before I saw her.” Then, she “pulled me into a bear hug.”

Then Nancy asked him a question. Did Arjun think of himself as friend and family? She explained: “You wake up with yourself, you are with yourself all day, and you go to bed with yourself. You are your best friend and companion. There is no hiding from that.”

“Arjun, in your journey of living your life, you have to learn to trust me now. I know it takes time to build trust, but in our case, just force yourself to start with 100% trust and then see how I live up to that.” Those are Nancy’s words as quoted in Arjun’s book. She asked Arjun to let her into his life so that she could help him.

Once Arjun wondered how she managed to connect so deeply with every patient. Nancy replied: “You didn’t come in as a patient. You came in as a human being. Don’t you deserve love, kindness and attention? That’s what I do. I fall in love with every patient every time. Unless you love the person, you cannot care. I have heard others say that one has to love what they do. That does not work for me. How can I love my work? I love people and every patient that walks into my life. I fall in love with them. They deserve the love.”

There was a time when Arjun, the consummate marketing man, was considering suicide. Nancy happened to call when he was driving and sensed what he was planning. She said, “Arjun, hear me out clearly. You are a survivor, not a quitter. Your mind will not let you quit. Whatever you are planning, you could fail in it. Do you know what will happen next? You, the branding man, will get defined as the person who failed both in life and death. Is that how you want to be known?” That prompted Arjun to take a U-turn in life and convert the bothersome headwinds into positive tailwinds.

Then, one day, Arjun got the news that Nancy was no more. She had taken her own life. Why? Her husband told Arjun: “Nobody knows why it happened. She finished her shift and left quietly. Her phone was turned off. I guess everyone had Nancy. You, all her other patients, doctors, her friends, and us, her family. But Nancy did not feel she had anyone. She must have been hurting badly, suffering all alone.”

This is how Arjun sums up his connection with Nancy in his book: “She walked into my life, ready to rescue me. But she never made me feel rescued. She made me feel like I was still me, but a better version. Unfortunately, our connection was only about me. She knew everything about me and how to help me get back in life, not just live but run in life. I wish at least one more time I was standing in front of her, with open arms and calling her name, ‘Naannnncyyyyyyyy!!!!’ and inviting her into a big hug.”

Even if you have seen the movie, do read Arjun Sen’s book, Unquit Forever: Keep yourself in the game. It will take you deeper into his life, and the lives of those who made his life a marathon he successfully started and finished—including Nancy. 

Are you fortunate enough to know a Nancy who loves the people under her care beyond the clock and duty? And if you do, do you really, really know her to encourage her to live on, love on?